Are You Ready for Divorce? Here’s What You Should Ask Yourself First

Getting divorced is a major decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly, and while it might be the right choice for you and your family, there are some considerations that need to be addressed. Often times people focus on the actual divorce process itself, like finding a lawyer and making sure they negotiate to get their way. Yet there are so many other elements to the process that don’t get talked about. Before filing for divorce, have a conversation with yourself and ask these questions:

What does your new living situation look like?

If you currently own a home, do you want to keep the house and have your ex move out? What about the other way around? Needing to move will be another thing to add to your list during an already stressful time, so make sure you have a plan. If you have children, think about moving somewhere that will keep them in the same school district so they don’t have to go through another major change.

Do you really want the divorce or are you just angry?

Divorce gets thrown around a lot as a threat when married couples are fighting. Have you mentioned a divorce just because you were mad at your spouse? Or, have you thought long and hard about it and come to the conclusion that this is the best decision for you? If you can have a calm conversation with your spouse and let them know respectfully that you want to leave, then maybe it is the real deal.

How is your financial situation?

Not only does it cost money to get divorced, but the landscape of your new life will look completely differently. Do you make enough money to support yourself as it is? How about any debt that you might have after the split? Getting divorced means you will be responsible for your finances singlehandedly, so make sure you know how to balance your budget and assess your situation.

Are you still in love with your spouse?

If your spouse is telling you the marriage is over, are you agreeing to a divorce just because you don’t feel like you have another choice? If you still have feelings for your partner and want to remain married, that’s worth noting. It might be smart to explore other options before divorcing, like counseling or workshops. You might be surprised that divorce doesn’t have to be the only choice.

How will your kids be affected?

It’s rare that a divorce ends with a perfect custody arrangement and the children are unaffected. While ending your marriage might be the right choice for you or your spouse, think about if it’s the right choice for your kids. Will they feel like it’s their fault? Are they mature enough to understand what’s happening? By no means should you stay in an unhappy marriage, but really take time to consider all of the ramifications and have clear and honest conversations with your kids.

If you are thinking about getting divorce and aren’t sure where to begin, contact Hulbert & Associates. We can help you to decide if divorce is right for you and your family, and support you through the entire process.

Written by Lori Hulbert

Together the attorneys of the firm have nearly 30 years of experience in the fields of estate planning, estate and trust administration, estate and trust litigation, guardianships and conservatorships and civil litigation.